unmarried. a blog
"Tell the truth about what it's like to be human."
- Cheryl Strayed
I’m a Gemini. And, like any Gemini would, I study the rules. Immerse myself in the rules. BECOME the rules.
Only to break them.
Now that my life is taking on a new form, with all its persistence, I’m creating a new set of rules.
Rule one is to remain healthy. Note: I hate exercise. Like, really loathe it (my favorite anti-exercise saying is, “The only thing I run is my mouth.”) But, in true one foot in front of the other fashion, I must keep this body of mine in decent condition. Being forty is fickle. Especially now that I'm three-years in.
So, I signed up for yoga. It’s the only thing that I can somewhat connect with. And this class isn’t your average ooohh-ssaaaaa ooommmm experience, it’s yoga tone. The tone part is anti-yoga. More along the lines of a militant “drop-the-fuck-down and give me twenty” after you’ve just quietly mastered balance in a tree pose. It's a bipolar paradox. I love it. My sessions start this week.
Rule two, no wallowing allowed. To be honest, there was a time in my marriage when I was taking antidepressants. At first, I took them for postpartum. But a couple years after the births of my children, I began to realize that I was still depressed. And it wasn’t because of them. I loved them. did everything for/to/with them. Still do. But the sadness wouldn’t go away until I recently realized why. After some deep conversations with myself by way of journaling, I finally admitted what was going on, which was the hardest pill to swallow: I was taking antidepressants to suppress the very thing that was making me depressed: my marriage.
So naturally, after deciding enough is enough with both the pills and the marriage, I prescribed myself with laughter as the medicine for a more desirable lifestyle result. My current way of accessing the funny will be through, Humor is the New Black!, an online writing class that studies comedy. Guess what? This writer can’t effen wait!
Rule number three. Well, I don’t have a third rule. Three is too many. I guess that's why they say three’s a crowd.
If you "adjusted" the rules you currently follow, what would you change? Just food for thought.